The Cure to Everything
by detective-sweetheart
Summary: He used to think that a hug could be the cure to everything from a broken nail to a broken heart, but in this moment, he's starting to think that maybe talking does the same.


**A/N: I meant to finish this last night after watching "Swing", but it didn't happen, and now it's taken me all day to finally get done. Anyway, I don't own SVU, so...have at it if you will. **

* * *

The comment doesn't make sense to him until a week after the arraignment.

And even then, he doesn't really want to believe that it means what he _thinks_ it means, because if it does, then it means his own partner's better at talking to his family than he is. It's not something that he wants to deal with. In fact, there are a lot of things that he doesn't want to deal with, but over the years, he's come to the conclusion that most of the time, he really doesn't have a choice.

At present, he's not sure what bothers him more: the fact that he doesn't want to deal with it, or the fact that he doesn't think he _can_. The feeling is actually familiar enough, whether he wants to admit it or not.

In all honesty, he really doesn't.

* * *

It is for this reason that Elliot Stabler finds himself in New Jersey, walking along a beach without any shoes on.

The last time he came here, the shoes had stayed on, but now he carries them, and wishes he'd left them behind in his car, because it's really annoying to have to lug them around. Even so, he continues on walking, wanting to clear his thoughts and not sure he's going to be able to. Over the past few days, there has been a lot to think about and a lot that he's been trying to avoid, and he's not really surprised that somewhere along the lines, it all came crashing together. It's been doing that a lot lately.

Somewhere in the distance, there is another person walking in the sand. He has a pretty good idea of who it might be.

Olivia's remark outside the courthouse echoes in the back of his mind, and it might just be for this reason that he starts to walk a little bit faster.

* * *

He doesn't notice that he's walking too close to the water until it soaks the bottom of his pants.

Even then, he doesn't stop walking. The figure in the distance is closer, now, and from where he is, he can see that he was right. Standing there, just barely into the water and staring off at nothing that he can see is his mother. In front of them, the sun is starting to set, and Elliot wonders for a moment if this is what she's looking at. He wanders farther into the water, and it hits his knees, but he keeps going. There is no indication that she's noticed him, or even that she'll acknowledge him when he finally reaches her, but this, too, is not enough to make him turn around.

When he gets close enough for her to actually hear him, he finally speaks. "I know what you did."

"Hello, Elliot." Bernadette Stabler speaks without turning, content to remain where she is as she continues. "Did your partner tell you?"

Elliot shakes his head, even though he knows she can't see him. "No," he says. "At least, not directly."

* * *

It's true, too, Elliot thinks, wryly, as they stand there. Olivia _did_ say something, only at first, it hadn't made a lot of sense.

And then he'd started thinking about it, and had come to the conclusion that there was only one way she could have known about what she'd spoken of.

"You know, Olivia's going to keep that over my head for the rest of the time we're partners," he remarks, suddenly amused. "Of all the pictures in the world..."

"You weren't supposed to find out that I talked to Kathleen," Bernadette replies. "I didn't want you to know."

In all honesty, this doesn't particularly surprise Elliot one bit. The last conversation that the two of them had didn't end well. He'd left, unable to deal with everything all over again, and she'd remained behind, unwilling to make the move to follow after him.

"I know you didn't," he says finally. "What made you change your mind?"

* * *

No answer. The sun continues sinking down in the sky, and Bernadette continues to watch it, remaining silent for what feels like forever, before she finally turns.

"I thought it was your partner," she tells him. "It hit me after she left that it was you."

She turns back to the water, even though the sun has finally dipped down below the horizon, and it's starting to get dark now. Elliot remains where he is, staring at the back of her head. After a moment, she continues.

"You remind me of your father sometimes," she says, not bothering to look and see what his reaction to this is. "You've always kept things close to the vest, like the minute you let something slip, you'll get hurt."

Elliot sighs. "This is news to you?" he asks. "I haven't exactly been given reason to let things in."

There is another, brief, moment of silence, and then Bernadette nods. "I know," she says. "I thought about that, too."

"Then what is this?" Elliot asks, the question coming before he can really think about it. "Why could you listen to my partner, and not to me?"

"She made it easier to believe that everything was going to be all right," comes the reply. "It probably doesn't make sense to you, but after I thought about what she told me, it was all I had."

Hearing this actually hurts. Three years is a long time, and in that time, there has been nothing but silence...until now. And only because things had finally fallen to a point where he couldn't fix them on his own anymore.

"So you talked to Liv," Elliot says, finally. "And then you went to talk to Kathleen."

* * *

Somewhere down the beach, lights go on in one of the houses.

"Yes, I went to talk to Katie," says Bernadette, finally turning away from watching the sun, which has completely disappeared now. "And I won't apologize for it. Not if it helped her. If it didn't...well, that's another story, now isn't it?"

She has no idea what happened in the courtroom, and no idea what's going on back in the city. She doesn't know that her little talk with Kathleen might have just been the turning point that her second granddaughter needed, and this entire thing might have been exactly what her only son needed to finally start looking at things in a different light. It is enough to make that all-too-familiar feeling of guilt settle over Elliot, all over again, and he sighs.

"I didn't come here looking for an apology."

"Then why did you come back?"

There are plenty of reasons why he came back.

Mostly because of Olivia's comment, but also because three years is a really long time, and because he's tired of the silence. He came back because he's finally grown tired of walking away, and he doesn't want to do it anymore.

"Because I needed to," Elliot replies, after another long, drawn out moment of silence. "I needed to come back and make things right again, but I don't know if I can."

He can no longer feel how cold the water is, because he's been standing there too long, but it doesn't matter. He waits, for an answer, for acknowledgement, for _something_, and even when nothing comes at first, he remains there, still convinced that this wasn't a mistake.

"There isn't anything for you to make right again," Bernadette tells him after a while. "Not with me, anyway. Walk with me."

* * *

She turns, and starts up the beach, out of the water that has soaked her to the knees as well.

Elliot follows after her, for once, barely noticing the shoes he's still holding onto by the laces, even as they swing back and forth, hitting against him every now and then. In the distance, the lights that had gone on earlier go off again, but there is enough light from other places that they can still see where they're going.

"How is Katie doing now?" Bernadette asks, over her shoulder. A faint smile crosses Elliot's face as he replies.

"She's going to be fine," he tells her. "She's...well, she's going to get help, figure things out. Everything's going to be fine."

And it will be, as time goes by. Nothing like this ever fixes itself just like that. Bernadette says nothing else, but continues walking; once again, Elliot finds himself walking a bit faster, just to keep up.

"She needed you," he says, as the sound of laughter drifts towards them from behind, coming from two people that they cannot see. "Whatever you said to her...she needed to hear it."

"I don't know if I'm glad to hear that, but I _am_ glad it helped," Bernadette replies, and then, "Do you know why I didn't want you to know I'd spoken to her?"

"No." Elliot stares down at his feet, wondering how he's going to explain all the sand when he gets home, because he'd _said_ that he was just going to the precinct to get something, but somehow, he'd ended up going the other way. "Why?"

"I didn't want you to come here," Bernadette admits, without turning to look him in the eye. "I didn't want another showdown, and I didn't want to watch you walk away from me again."

This is enough to stop him dead in his tracks. "Mama..." he starts, and trails off, for a few seconds before continuing. "I wouldn't have walked away again."

* * *

As Elliot says this, he realizes that for once, he actually means it, unlike other times where he's thought he wouldn't walk away from something, only to end up leaving anyway.

"I couldn't help her," he says, before his mother can say anything. "She's just...She reminds me of you. She doesn't want to be held down, and she didn't want to listen to me."

"It's not always easy to listen to someone who's trying to save you from yourself," Bernadette remarks. Elliot bites back a laugh.

"I know it isn't," he says. "I've had to learn that the hard way a few times. I always hoped none of my kids would ever have to, but..."

"They're going to live their own lives, sweetheart. You can give them advice, but it doesn't always mean they'll follow it."

"Yeah...I've had to learn that the hard way, too."

They continue walking.

The laughter that they heard earlier has faded away now, and Elliot kicks at the sand, watching it fly up and then disappear as it falls back towards the ground.

"It doesn't always make sense to you, does it?" Bernadette asks after a while, an amused look crossing her face as she watches this. "If it doesn't fit into what you know, I mean."

"I used to think I knew a lot, Mama, I really did. And then I went to the academy, and it all flew out the window."

"Your father used to say once you'd looked at the city through a cop's eyes, there wasn't any going back."

"Well, he was right. I was too busy looking at the city to see what was going on in my own house."

* * *

It goes without saying that on some level, he knew things weren't right, but hadn't turned away from the precinct long enough to make sure that it didn't get out of hand.

"If you hadn't known something was wrong, you wouldn't have tried so hard to make it right again," Bernadette is saying, when Elliot starts paying attention again. "Your mind might be stuck in your precinct, but your heart is still where it belongs."

She has a point, and a valid one at that. Somehow, this is not enough to reassure him.

"Then what am I supposed to do?" he asks. "How can I fix something that I can't even see?"

"You can't," Bernadette says, bluntly enough to make Elliot stare at her as she goes on. "Katie is the way she is, and there isn't anything you can do about it. There's nothing anyone can do. It'll still be there, no matter what pills she takes, or what therapy she gets, but that isn't what's really going to help her."

Elliot says nothing. Part of him wants to disagree with what his mother is saying, but the other part of him tells him to wait, and so he does.

* * *

"She thought you hated her, you know," Bernadette says, continuing on where she'd cut herself off. "I told her that you didn't. It would have been too easy for you to walk away."

"Mama..." Elliot starts, but she cuts him off, waving a hand at him.

"Let me finish," she says, and then, "She's like me, honey. She's going to do things every now and then that you and Kathy might think are crazy, because that's just how she is, and it's how I am. The medications and talking to someone can only do so much."

Elliot is half-tempted to point out to her that she doesn't take any medication at all, and doesn't talk to anyone whom she doesn't feel like talking to, a list that a few days ago, included him. That feeling that she hasn't completely finished yet is still there, and so instead of attempting to interrupt her again, he waits.

"I told Katie that the real help would come from hugging the ones she loves, even when she doesn't think they want to be hugged," Bernadette says, and then, "Will you be there to let her do that?"

* * *

At this, Elliot nods, mutely.

In truth, the advice makes enough sense. It has occurred to him before in earlier years that a hug could usually fix anything, from a broken nail to a broken heart. But it has never really hit him before now that something so small and seemingly insignificant at times could help to fix even something like this.

"It won't fix it completely," Bernadette remarks, almost as if she has read his mind. "But it will help. I used to think that a hug was a cure for anything, but you know...science proved me wrong."

Elliot laughs. The remark is so off-the-wall, so out there that he can't help it, and after a few seconds, he realizes that his mother is laughing with him.

When they finally stop laughing, it takes a moment for both of them to catch their breath. Bernadette is still wearing a faint smile as she reaches up to touch her only child's face.

"It's good to hear you laugh again," she says. "It's been a while now."

And it has been. Too long, even. Before, there was a reason why he stayed away.

Now, there just might be a reason to return.

* * *

Elliot sits, then, right in the sand, even though there's a bench nearby. Bernadette casts an amused look down at him.

"What are you doing?" she asks. "You'll ruin your clothes."

"Now she wants to be practical," Elliot replies, but the faint smirk he's wearing is enough to tell her that he doesn't mean it. "Come sit with me."

She does, the amused expression turning into a questioning one, but she says nothing, and neither does he.

At least, not at first. After a moment, Elliot leans back, arms behind his head, and looks up at the sky.

"Of all the pictures in the world, you had to show Olivia that one," he says. "What'd I ever do to deserve that?"

"You didn't do anything." Bernadette trails off and sighs. "I showed her those pictures because I wanted to look back at how things used to be. It didn't really have much to do with you at all."

* * *

This admission is more than a little bit startling. Elliot turns on his side, props himself up on one elbow, and looks up at his mother, not bothering to hide his surprise.

"That's really what changed your mind, isn't it?" he asks, and Bernadette nods, glancing down towards the sand.

"I couldn't sit by and watch things fall apart for you," she replies, quietly. "You and Kathy and those children are all I have now. I don't want to lose that."

She reaches down to straighten his tie, absently, and says nothing more. Elliot takes her hand before it falls away from him and squeezes hard, once, before letting go.

"You aren't going to lose that," he says. "But we don't want to lose you, either. _I_ don't want to lose you, again."

No reply comes. He doesn't expect one, and doesn't need one to know that maybe, just maybe, everything will turn out okay, after all.

It is this that makes Elliot sit up, reach for one of his shoes, and fill it up with sand. She watches him do this, once more wearing that questioning expression, but this time, he answers it.

"Let's build a sandcastle."


End file.
